It’s easy to say we don’t care about what other people think of us or our ideas. But it is important to be aware of the impression we are putting out to the world so that we attract people we can genuinely create value for, and who can also help us to grow.
That idea has nothing to do with being liked by everyone, but being liked by the right people for us.
Leave an authentic impression and you will be remembered by the people who matter – and that impression can lead to other opportunities in the future. Leave an unauthentic impression to begin with, and you will be avoided, or worse.
Blink and You’ll Miss It
Impressions happen quickly but can linger for a long time.
People unconsciously make assumptions the first time you interact, based on things like your body language, eye contact, tone and general attitude.
I recently started working with a client I first interviewed with almost ten years ago. For whatever reason, the timing didn’t work out for both of us back then, and we continued on our separate ways. But when an opportunity came up and I had a chance to meet with their company again, the conversation picked up smoothly and we were able to start working on the problem pretty well straight away.
My impression of them was that they were a company I suspected I wanted to work with. And when an opportunity came up I was also in their mind.
The impressions you leave today can grow and come back many years down the road. So give that impression the opportunity to grow by getting things off on the right foot.
Don’t Waste Time – Be Authentic
Above all else, in the long run people remember and respect those who are authentic.
We may not be on the same page, but if we are being honest and aren’t wasting each other’s time – whether that be in relationships or professionally – it’s is valuable to both parties.
I recently had a zoom meeting with a potential client who runs a company in the US, we talked about an idea but eventually it became clear it just wouldn’t work right now.
Instead of trying to sell him on it, keep him on the line or promising things I couldn’t deliver, all I focussed on was leaving an impression.
After a great conversation, he couriered a collection of his books to my home and extended an invitation to come and visit his company in the US in the future.
We didn’t waste each others time, but we were authentic with each other, and I have confidence that good first impression will come back one day when a new opportunity comes up.
Notice the Details
It’s noticing the details which can make all the difference in first impressions.
When I met my future wife at a salsa bar on a random Tuesday night just over five years ago, I noticed she was watching all of the dancers very closely from the bar at the side of the room – and that she was drinking water.
When I started to talk to her, she first told me she wasn’t a dancer, but I knew she must have known something about what was going on out there.
Pretty soon one of her guy friends asked her to dance and the next thing I know she was out on the dance floor spinning around like a professional.
When she came back to the bar to continue our conversation she admitted she had trained professionally as a dancer and had grown up learning salsa. I had made some kind of impression even though she didn’t want to admit that to begin with!
We still laugh about that conversation today. If I had have led with some cheesy pick-up line, or tried to buy her a shot from the bar, it would have been clear I didn’t notice anything about her and was only interested in me.
Listen
If you are trying to push someone into an idea, ignoring their needs and only talking about your own needs, you give them nothing but a bad taste they won’t want to be around for long.
But if you take time to listen, notice the details and respond authentically you are providing something that is actually valuable and very rare today; An attempt at genuinely understanding who they are.
Authentic impressions grow, unauthentic impressions create resistance. Be mindful of the impression you are giving.
“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.”
― Ernest Hemingway
